Fast Food and Faster Women

Sizzling hot: Kate Upton as fast food femme fatale in Carl Jr.'s latest commercial.

 Oh and there's a burger in the ad too.

Just as I was starting to feel good about skipping meat this Friday here comes Kate Upton. The 19-year old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition 2012 cover girl stars in a tantalizingly slow minute-long Carl's Jr.and Hardee's drive-in commercial where she loses herself (and some articles of clothing) while savoring their new Southwest Patty Melt Thickburger.

See Kate as she lustily unwraps her burger. See Kate as the camera wanders up and down her body, beads of sweat collecting between the folds of her polkadot dress. Watch as she smacks her glossy lips between bites of  a charbroiled beef patty with sliced jalapeños, onions, pepper-Jack cheese, and all of it bathed in a spicy Santa Fe sauce. Grilled sourdough bread is used for the buns. 

Buns...

Ahem. Yes. Anyway. Check out the video.

In the meantime I'm having tofu and steamed broccoli for dinner. Life isn't fair.

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Eat It Up: Watermelon Steak

Pipino's irresistible watermelon with asparagus, taro miso mash, and pickled mushrooms
will have you smitten for summer and beyond

As a rule, I don't grill my fruits. It's just one of those things - like walking with wet socks or eating a whole jar of mayonnaise with a spoon. I'd rather not, thank you very much. Fruits by all accounts are meant to be served chilled, preferably in bite-sized juicy chunks, or, in the case of watermelon, sliced into big wedges you dive your whole face in. That's what makes watermelon, well, a watermelon.

Last week however, vegan snack shack Pipino in sleepy Teachers Village came out with a 5-course Valentine's meal that included, among other things, watermelon steak. This was unheard of in my dining vocabulary, though New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman would have you think otherwise.

Says Bittman:

"Watermelon is not a vegetable, obviously, but it’s so wonderful when grilled [...] Grill a watermelon slice, and it dries out and sobers up, losing its sloppy sweetness, and it takes surprisingly well to savory accompaniments. Add a slice of good melting cheese, a hard roll, a few pickles and a lettuce leaf, and look out: watermelon burgers."

Pipino's new watermelon steak is just that: A thick, red wedge that's actually pretty to look at. On biting, it does't give too quickly, and releases nearly that same smoky flavor you'd associate with your favorite T-bone. Here it's served with asparagus and pickled mushrooms that adds welcome zing. A clump of taro miso mash satisfied my need for carbs.

Will it fly with diners? For vegans it's a no-brainer. But as a regular guy who can appreciate a fine slab of rib-eye, it's definitely still worth trying. Just don't expect to be filled up in a way only honest to goodness, proteiny meat can. Have it if you're coming to grips with your Lenten fast or curious to sample creative vegan cooking. It's definitely a notch higher than masquerading gluten and tofu as animal parts, and you get to love fruit in a whole different way. Now if someone could start cooking watermelon burgers...

Pipino
39 Malingap Street, teachers Village, Quezon City
Contact (63) 2 4411773
Visit www.pipinovegetarian.com 

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Kablam! for your Buck: Lech-Get-It-On!

One of the most popular dishes in the Philippines is lechon baboy or roast pig. A traditional part of any fiesta, the reddish brown porker doubles as both meal and centerpiece for the occasion. You'll always wanna be near the start of the line so you can get a good serving of the meat, and that always-first-to-go crispy lechon skin.

Alas, lechon is not perfect. The traditional cooking process can sometimes leave the meat tough and chewy (though check out our coverage of Cebu's Zubuchon lechon too), and by now you've probably asked yourself, "This is Kablam! for your Buck where we occasionally learn about an awesome tasting, highly satisfying and non-wallet-emptying treat! A whole lechon usually costs thousands of pesos!" Why, yes it is, and... well, yeah, also yes, lechon is usually expensive, but if you're after something that's just as awesome, then you're in for a treat.

Pigging Out: Uncle Cheffy's Garlic Studded Pork Belly Lechon

 When one thinks of Uncle Cheffy, it elicits images of red brick oven baked pizzas and other cuisine of a similar global scale. Well those ovens are just as capable of making an awesome roast (part of a) pig, in this case, its tender, succulent liempo. While it may not have the same grandiose effect of displaying a whole animal, an order of the Garlic Studded Pork Belly Lechon is nonetheless impressive in its own right. 

The marble potatoes are a favorite companion to meat dishes, but one of the more pleasantly surprising aspects of the dish is the fresh salsa which goes just as well as the traditional sarsa which it also comes with. As for the meat: simply divine. It practically melts in your mouth, while the crunchy, flavorful skin does an incredibly accurate impression of its bigger cousin.

The cost of this lavish feast? Slightly over Php200 (Php95 per 100 grams + service charge). Pictured above is an order of 200 grams (the minimum), and that was more than enough to satisfy this restless food warrior's belly. Good food? Yes. Great value? Hell yes. You've just been Kablamforyourbucked.

Uncle Cheffy Brick Oven BBQ

2nd Level, Eastwood Mall, Libis, Quezon City

Contact 3837215

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